Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Groucho Marx

It's better to be looked over than overlooked.

Mae West

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Lucille Ball

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Groucho Marx

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Ogden Nash

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Al Capone

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Mark Twain

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Anonymous

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

H. L. Mencken

We tolerate shapes in human beings that would horrify us if we saw them in a horse.

W. R. Inge

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.

James Russell Lowell

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

Clarence Darrow