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12 pages of
Classic Wit:
 
Too much good
   
  Fish make love  
   
  Life in men  
   
  Drove to drink  
   
  Keep a diary  
   
  Women equal men  
   
  Easily shocked  
   
  Hard man  
   
  Time Flies  
   
  Be somebody  
   
  Astor & Churchill  
   
  Don't drink  
   

 

Classic Wit

Page
3 of 12

The best humorous quotes from our greatest wits

We scoured the net for these choice pieces of wit from great humorists past and present. They are selected for their pithiness and wisdom as well as their humor. Read them and brighten your day.


It's not the men in my life that counts - it's the life in my men.

Mae West


An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

Mae West

 

Those are my principles, if you don't like them, I have others.

Groucho Marx

 

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.

Mae West

 

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen

 

I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time.

Mae West

 

Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.

Mark Twain

 

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W. C. Fields

 

God's noblest work? Man. Who found it out? Man.

Mark Twain

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance; but a good line is hard to resist.

Mae West

 

Don't worry about temptation; as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

Anonymous

 

Young men know the rules; but old men know the exceptions.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

We are not retreating; we are advancing in another direction.

General Douglas MacArthur

 

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

Mae West

 

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

 

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day; and another, in case it doesn't rain.

Mae West

 

Men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and disposable.

Cher


To see our collection of Winston Churchill quotes, click here.

Classic Wit: Humorous quotes on T-shirts, tops and gifts

All the quotes shown above feature on this page from the Classic Wit calendar. The image is also available as a mousemat. Eleven more images with quotes appear on the 12-month calendar, and the main illustrated quote from each page is available on a range of T-shirts and giftware.

Click for next page

Classic Wit calendar
Mousepad
Calendar
12 months of
Classic Wit.
Mousepad
Durable cloth top,
rubber backing.

 


Throw Pillow
Throw Pillow
18" X 18" with an
11” X 11” image.
Dark T-Shirt
Dark T-Shirt
Pre-shrunk, durable
and guaranteed.
White T-Shirt
Women's T-Shirt
Most comfortable
Women's tee ever.
Tote Bag
Tote Bag
10oz heavyweight
natural canvas.
Large Mug
Large Mug
15oz. ceramic.
Large handle.
 


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