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The best humorous quotes from our greatest wits
We scoured the net for these choice pieces of wit from great humorists past and present. They are selected for their pithiness and wisdom as well as their humor. Read them and brighten your day.
Too much of a good thing is wonderful. Mae West |
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When women go wrong, men go right after them. Mae West
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. Patrick Murray
Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife unless she's a beauty. W. C. Fields
When I'm good,
I'm good. Mae West
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. Groucho Marx
Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. Mae West
You can observe a lot by just watching. Yogi Berra
He who hesitates is a damned fool. Mae West
A new love loosens the old tie. Cicero |
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It takes two to get one in trouble. Mae West
When we ask advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. Marquis de La Grange
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Ambrose Bierce
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. Mark Twain
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. Rod Stewart
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried. Mae West
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. Eric Hoffer
When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better. Mae West
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To see our collection of Winston Churchill quotes, click here. Classic Wit: Humorous quotes on T-shirts, tops and gifts All the quotes shown above feature on this page from the Classic Wit calendar. The image is also available as a mousemat. Eleven more images with quotes appear on the 12-month calendar, and the main illustrated quote from each page is available on a range of T-shirts and giftware. |
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